Underwear Trauma
by 0HeartShapedBox0
Summary: What would the Acolytes do if their underwear 'Mysteriously' disappered?


**  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-Men Evolution. I also don't own Bayville Mall. I am pretty sure I don't own the shop assistants either. I do not own any of the other products mentioned.  
* * ***

Gambit woke up from his long slumber, feeling unusually pleasant. He looked out the open window in his room. The sun was slowly rising, sending beautiful yellow and red rays of light out into the sky, adding a bright orange layer of brightness blending into the dark blue night sky that still remained in the sky. It was one of the few things that made Gambit sigh, just because it was one of the only beautiful things he remembered from his childhood. The way the yellow crashed into the dark blue fascinated him so much when he was a little kid, and Gambit chuckled slightly when he imagined how tiny he would've been back then, probably not even half of his height now.

"Oh Darn!" An all-too familiar Australian accent shouted from the room opposite the metal hallway from Gambit, breaking Gambit's daydream and something else that sounded slightly like a flower vase.

"John?" Gambit asked, clenching the bridge of his nose as he walked into the crazy pyromaniac's room and narrowly avoided being hit by a flying pillow. He breathed out a breath of French swear-words as he stepped further into Pyro's bedroom, knowing that he would probably regret it. "John, what ARE you doing?" He continued, raising his voice so his slightly insane teammate could hear him.

"Oh! G'day, Remy!" Pyro's face lit up like a light bulb, his shiny white teeth flashing as his mouth twitched into a big, happy smile when he saw his colleague walk towards him.

"What exactly are you trying to attempt?" Gambit asked as Pyro discontinued chucking everything in sight across to the other side of the room "If you're looking for your teddy bear, Sabretooth has it and refuses to give it back until you return his bourbon."

"Oh, actually mate, I was just looking for a pair of undies."

Gambit's eyes widened with surprise, even though he should've known that he would say something like that. "But didn't you go out shopping for... undergarments only a month ago?" He asked.

"Yeah, I know mate, but they're all gone! You see, I left all 'em used ones in one big pile over there," He gestured at the large heap of pyjamas, tee-shirts and socks resting next to his bed, which was scattered with take-away food boxes, candy wrappings, empty deodorant cans and whoopee cushions "And now they've all gone! They've vanished, disappeared, poofed into the mystic realms of the Underworld!" He gasped in a big breath "Oh no, what if I never see them again, Remy?" Pyro's face scrunched up in worry as his bottom lip trembled.

"Have you actually checked the pile?" Gambit asked, starting to sift his way through the pile with a stray fly-swat from the floor.

"Of course I have, you silly little thing! I was gonna put the pile into the wash, and then I realized that there were absolutely no undies there! Or in my drawers! Or under my pillow!" The tone in the mad Acolyte's voice was turning to desperation.

"And what exactly do you expect me to do about it?" Gambit asked, leaning against the wall in his usual pose.

"Well, I was thinking that we could go out shopping, you know, like a family!" Pyro's eyes widened. "Oh, I know! Colossus could be the big, friendly uncle that everyone loves, we could be the troublesome, cheeky brothers and Sabey could be the over-sized, adolescent big brother who refuses to wash himself and Magneto could be the daddy!" Pyro was creeping closer to jumping up and down on the spot, his eyeballs so big and childish that Gambit was having difficult time trying to say no.

"Sorry John, but I don't think Magneto or Sabretooth would join you for all the wine in France, especially when you just referred to them as family members."

Pyro made a disappointed 'Ooooh' sound under his breath when Gambit said that, but he naturally perked up when his brain thought of an idea. "But you and Colossus will come, right? And, and, and you'll try to get Maggie and Sabey come too, right?"

Gambit groaned, falling victim to the Australian pyromaniac's puppy eyes. "Okay, okay! Just let me get dressed!" He said, noticing that he was still in his pyjamas.

"Aw, thanks Remy! You're the best!" Pyro smiled, failing to give Gambit a big hug when Gambit ducked out and whistled until he reached his room.

/

Magneto popped his head briefly out of the laundry door, making sure no one was near. Sabretooth was sleeping on the floor about 10 metres to the left of the laundry door, and Magneto had a feeling that he wasn't really going to wake up soon.

"Come on, I know you're there somewhere!" He scowled in a frustrated tone, rummaging through another basket of forgotten laundry that had been left in there for a couple of months when no-one could be bothered ironing them. He kept on looking through the blue, partially-damaged baskets, using his powers to make a pair of metal tongs to toss everything that wasn't a pair of purple undies onto the floor. He was thanking the Heavens that there was a pair of flame-throwing undies he could fit into in his private bathroom's cabinets that he had previously confiscated from Pyro earlier on in the month.

"Good morning, Magneto." Colossus greeted as he walked into the laundry, the small room feeling even smaller when the tall, buff Russian Acolyte walked in.

"Good morning, Piotr." Magneto said calmly, realizing that he was blessed to be in the company of Colossus instead of Pyro or Sabretooth. Colossus briefly looked at the pile of clothing on the floor, seeing if he could spot a certain item of his. Confusion flashed over his mind when he saw absolutely no pairs of his underwear, let alone any others' pairs of underwear, in site.

"Odd." Colossus murmured, and left without saying another word.

/

Meanwhile, in Gambit's room, a certain card-addicted fellow was having underwear problems too.

"Come ON! You can't be serious!" He groaned as he looked at his empty underwear drawer, later deciding to just pull on a pair of extremely tight short-shorts underneath his pants. He walked out and barged back into Pyro's room. Pyro was waiting for Gambit, nearly pouncing onto him when he entered the room.

"Gee, Johnny! You got to calm down!" Gambit sighed as Pyro stood next to him, smiling and vibrating slightly, looking a bit like a kitten who had been given too much sugar.

"Come on, Mate! We're going to get Sabey, Piotr and Maggie now, right?" Pyro, being the overly excitable young man he is, was very close to squealing.

"Okay, fine, but I'm still doubtful that The Boss will let us." Gambit replied, Pyro prancing out of the door behind him.

/

"Well, I suppose we could all go out shopping together. It could aid us in developing stronger bonds between each other, which would benefit your confidence and fighting skill greatly." Magneto said smoothly, covering that fact that he was secretly craving to go to the store to buy undies.

"Of course- oh, wait... what?" Gambit asked confused, after all, those were the last words that he expected to escape from the Great Magneto's mouth.

"Do we ALL have to go?" Sabretooth protested, now awake and slouching against the doorframe.

"I agree with Sabey!" Pyro exclaimed loudly, standing up from his crossed-legged position on the floor. "I mean, it's a bit obvious that one of us hasn't changed his pair of undies in his whole entire life!"

"If he even wears any!" Gambit sneered, hi-fiving Pyro.

"Wrong move, Cajun Boy!" Sabretooth snarled, attempting to pounce onto Gambit, but failing miserably when Magneto trapped him in an embrace of metal bars.

"What's wrong pussy cat?" Gambit taunted, his shiny white teeth pulling into an even larger grin when Sabretooth kept on trying to break free and kept on failing.

"Now, boys, I do not think that this will be a successful trip if you continue to put-down and tease your teammate." Magneto said, sounding like he was talking to a group of small children.

"THEY WERE NOT PUTTING ME DOWN! OH, THE NERVE OF IT ALL! I AM GODDAMNED SABRETOOTH, KING OF THE MUTANTS, SCARED OF NOTHING, RULER OF-" He was cut of by another metal strip wrapping around his mouth.

"That will be enough." Magneto said, levitating himself a few inches of the ground and moving towards the door that led to his private garage. Pyro smiled and followed loyally, like a puppy whose owner had a big, juicy bone waiting for him.

Magneto stopped, and turned around. "Where do you think YOU'RE going?" He asked, facing Pyro.

"To your car!" Pyro replied.

"MY car, John, not yours! Nor is MY car there to be polluted and exploded by you misfits once again!" Magneto screamed, his tone of voice so harsh that it nearly made Pyro wet himself.  
Magneto smirked cruelly when Pyro ran back to the other Acolytes, reminding Colossus and Gambit of a puppy who had been smacked.

"It is okay, Pyro." Colossus whispered, praying that the usually happy-go-lucky Australian wasn't going to burst into tears.

"You will be taking the public train." Magneto said coldly, floating further and further away from his Acolytes. "And I expect you to be outside of Bayville Mall at 11 o'clock sharp."

The stunned men decided to wait for Magneto to leave before they commented.

"A train. A public train. A breeding ground for germs and weird psychopaths." Gambit was stunned.

"Yippee!" Pyro jumped up, his fist pounding the air, all the enthusiasm leaking back into his face again.

"It should not be so bad, Remy." Colossus reassured Gambit. "It's just a form of transport."

"He couldn't have even considered getting us a taxi." Gambit continued.

"We'd need a minibus to fit that fat oaf in!" Pyro whispered to Gambit, pointing slightly at Sabretooth.

Sabretooth, using the only tiny ounce of common sense in his thick skull, decided not to listen and instead walk towards their garage, figuring the quicker he got the Hell out of the Acolyte base, the quicker he could get back.

/

"AHHHH! SLOW DOWN, REMY! I THINK I'M GONNA DIE!" Pyro screamed dramatically as Remy's motorbike continued to drive on. Gambit turned his head slightly around to face the pyromaniac clutching onto his waist for dear life.

"John, we're driving at 25km per hour because of you constant, irrational screaming fits. Piotr and Sabretooth are at least a mile ahead of us. We have to go just a little quicker or we'll never get to the train."

"EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU MANIAC!" Pyro shouted from behind.

Gambit grumbled, speeding up rapidly (much to Pyro's disgust) until Sabretooth's long, uncombed hair was in sight. 

/

"I do not see why Pyro does not get his own motorcycle." Colossus queried after he had collected his train ticket.

"And I don't see why we have to take this stupid train when we could just keep on riding our motorbikes! You see, Piotr, some of these questions will never get answered!" Sabretooth growled, quite annoyed that he had to take the train instead of riding his treasured motorbike to the clean, sophisticated Bayville Mall.

"Because Pyro doesn't really like big speeds unless he's behind an actual wheel. Of course, it probably isn't a great idea to stick John behind any type of control, so Magneto decided that he would get a pushbike for him instead."

"Oh, okay then." Colossus said, nodding to show that he understood.

"It's a real shame that the pushbike didn't last long. Johnny even named it and everything, but one day a certain over-grown cat decided to run over it!" Gambit scowled as he cautiously stepped into the public train, one tiny baby-step at a time.

"It wasn't my fault he left it in my way!" Sabretooth argued, flinging his arms in the air and nearly giving an old lady a concussion in the progress.

Gambit sat next to Pyro, who had scrambled in as soon as the train doors had opened and found a nice seat before anyone else had boarded, with Colossus sitting opposite and Sabretooth standing because he couldn't squeeze in next to Colossus and no stranger really wanted to sit next to a hairy, smelly caveman.

"What were you guys talking about?" Pyro asked curiously.

"How because of your scaredy-catness we have to take the train instead of going on our motorbikes, like a proper man should do!" Sabretooth complained.

Pyro turned sad again. "I'm sorry, Sabretooth. You're right, I should be more fearless and strong." Pyro sounded like he was talking to a teacher who had caught his misbehaving.

"Don't worry, John. Everyone is afraid of something." Colossus reassured.

"Really?" Pyro asked, beginning to grow happy once more.

"Yes. I have not told anyone this, but I am terrified of ghosts."

"Honestly?"

"Yes. It is a bit embarrassing."

"No, mate, I don't think so! I mean I'm scared of motorbikes! Being scared of ghosts would be a lot manlier." Pyro insisted, happy that he had found a friend that was also freaked out by something quite irrational.

"But you have a reason. You could fall of a motorcycle and hurt yourself. Ghosts are just invisible things that cannot cause any harm." Colossus sighed.

"Nah, those ghosty buggers can give you a nasty fright." Pyro patted Colossus's shoulder understandingly. "But boy, you ain't seen nothing until you meet a feral Guinea Pig." Pyro murmured, thinking back to his childhood.

"Seeing as you guys are discussing fears and phobias, I guess you would like to know that I absolutely HATE-" Gambit started, but got cut off by Sabretooth.

"Nobody cares, Cajun Boy." Sabretooth growled before Gambit could continue.

"No, please tell us Remy! Please, please, please!" Pyro begged.

"Nah, actually I'd rather not." Gambit replied, starting to stare out the window.

"Oh poo." Pyro grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest like a child.

/

"10:59!" Gambit panted as he and the rest of the Acolytes ran around the corner, arriving at the huge glass sliding doors of Bayville Mall. Naturally, Magneto was standing there in gloves, sunglasses and a large black coat, adding a streak of style to the chewing gum-coved pavement.

"You're early." Magneto said, no-one knowing what he was thinking behind his pitch black sunglasses.

"The early bird catches the worm!" Gambit said smoothly.

"Indeed." Magneto said briefly, turning to walk into the mall.

Gambit shrugged slightly and motioned for the rest of the Acolytes to join Gambit in following their boss.

/ 

"How about there?" Pyro asked, pointing at a shop with women's lingerie posted all over the display windows.

"I have no objections." Gambit smirked.

"That shop could have been acceptable if we even had one female amongst our group." Magneto replied coolly.

"Hey Boss?" Pyro questioned. "Do you think we could get a Sheila to join us one day?"

"If I find a female with an acceptable thirst to kill off humankind, then perhaps I would consider it." Magneto said.

"But what if you found one that wasn't a madwoman but she wanted to join? Would ya let her in?" Pyro continued.

"It would depend."

"What if she was really, really pretty, like a tall, tanned Australian sheila that could like, make fire appear from her fingers or something?"

"It would depend." Magneto replied once more.

"Or what if she had that hair with those gorgeous white streaks, a feisty hard-to-get attitude and that unusually alluring-"

"For the Love of Naturwissenshaft, please don't start that again." Magneto muttered.

"I want a female who's ferocious and strong, doesn't care what anyone thinks and wants to kill Wolverine!" Sabretooth added.

"I don't think Wolverine has an ex-girlfriend that suits your description, Victor." Gambit said.

"Or an X-Girlfriend! Get it! Get it! X-GIRLFRIEND? LIKE X-MEN? GET IT? X! HAHAHAHA!" Pyro laughed, nearly falling over.

"Ha." Remy rolled his eyes.

"Actually, that was a little bit funny." Colossus said, defending Pyro's terrible joke.

"That was terrible!" Sabretooth complained while sending a death glare at a crying baby who was giving him a headache.

"Hey, just 'cause you've never had-" Pyro started yelling.

"Another time, Pyro!" Magneto said as he turned into a shop.

The Acolytes followed Magneto into the store, a massive room split in to by a block of changing rooms, the right half painted pink and the left half painted blue, representing the gender of the underwear.

"I am sure you men can find your own way around here." Magneto said, still feeling a little bit weird that he was accompanying four fully-grown adults on an underwear shopping spree.

"Right you are, monsieur!" Gambit smirked walking in a complete opposite direction to the rest of the Acolytes.

"Where's he going?" Pyro asked Colossus, watching as Gambit walked towards the pink section.

"I do not know," Colossus replied, also slightly confused "Maybe he prefers wearing women's undergarments?"

Magneto sighed as he heard his Acolytes talking. Any other day he would have caused a major explosion and took everything in sight, but he and the Acolytes were banned from every single store within 95 miles of Bayville, and he was trying to take advantage of this new store opening. He knew that he just could've hire someone to do their shopping for them, but he wanted to personally see if this new underwear shop was worth keeping a good record on.

"Good morning gentlemen!" One of the two young ladies approaching the Acolytes said, rather cheerfully for 11 o'clock in the morning. They were dressed in the store's uniform, a black skirt sitting just above their knees, skin-coloured tights and a neon pink shirt that was so bright it was starting to hurt they Acolyte's eyes.

"I'm Anna!" The slightly taller girl with brown hair said perkily.

"I'm Tara!" The slightly shorter girl with the very light brown hair said, also rather perky.

"We're your shop assistants!" They said together. "And we're going to help you on your journey to find underwear!"

Each shop assistant linked arms with two of the boys, much to their surprise, and walked off into the labyrinth of knickers.

/

"Good morning ma'am." A blonde shop assistant greeted as she approached Gambit's back. He turned around. "Sir." She corrected herself.

"A very good morning to you to." Gambit replied politely, smiling slightly.

"Can I help you in your quest to... buy women's lingerie?" The young girl asked, hands on her hips and her fingers flicking a strand of blonde hair from her face.

"You may direct me to the place you think I am supposed to be." Gambit smiled, being encouraged greatly by her lips trying to hide a smile.

"Right this way." She said as she walked with him towards the men's section.

/

"And then I was all like, no, that is SO not true! Then she was like, uh, yeah it is and then we argued for about four whole minutes and then her mum came and picked her up and I was all, thank heavens!"

"That is really fascinating." Colossus said as his assistant continued multitasking between looking at every shelf in her sight and telling Colossus and Sabretooth stories.

"I know, right!" The assistant called Tara smiled, throwing mountains of underpants into Sabretooth's and Colossus's arms.

"What are these?" Sabretooth asked, sniffing a pair of grey briefs cautiously.

"Underwear, of course!" Tara smiled brightly.

"So that's what underwear is..." Sabretooth said to himself, relieved to finally find out what his boss and teammates had been talking about for the whole day.

/

"Thank you, but I think we should be fine from here." Magneto said, trying to be calm.

"No, it's okay! It is part of our job to find underwear for every person that enters our store, and to give confidence and a nice pair that compliments your body's natural curves." The girl said, her arms still linked with Magneto's and Pyro's.

Magneto attempted to wiggle out of the young girl's grasp, but her hold on his arm felt like an adamantium grip.

"I think it's terribly nice of her to help!" Pyro said cheerfully.

"I beg to differ." Magneto groaned, feeling very uncomfortable with a girl find him underpants.

"Oh Gosh! Look over there, Maggie!" Pyro squealed, pointing at the Kiddie Section in the shop. "Look at them!" He dragged Magneto and the Shop Assistant, Anna, to a stand of little boys' underwear.

Magneto wondered how Pyro could drag the shop assistant around when he couldn't. Then again, Pyro had a habit of making the impossible happen.

"Hot Wheels..." Pyro murmured, clasping a pair of shiny blue boxers in his hand, admiring the flaming car on the 10-sizes-to-small undies.

"John, you're never going to be able to fit into them." Magneto sighed, now wishing he had sent someone to go do their shopping.

"Shut UP, Eric!" Pyro started sobbing. "I'm trying my hardest here, mate! Do you know how hard it is to keep a healthy body when you have a boss who refuses to let you go out for walks outside of the workplace? I'll star-jump my way in! I-I'll starve my way in! I know I can fit into them, just give me a chance, Eric! ONE BLOOMING CHANCE!" Pyro fell to the ground, crying.

"DON'T CALL ME ERIC, I AM YOUR BOSS, AND IN A FEW YEARS, I WILL RULE THIS EARTH!" Magneto bellowed.

"But you call me John, mate! You're such a hypocrite!" Pyro shouted.

"It's okay, Johnny Boy! Here, look! Your size!" Anna said, reaching to the back of the shelf and pulling out a pair that they always had in case for fully-grown men. Pyro grinned widely.

"See, I told ya, didn't I!" Pyro said brightly.

/

"I really didn't know that was possible!" The blonde shop assistant named Lauren said, smiling slightly.

"And I didn't know that shop assistants in this store were required to link arms with all their customers." Gambit replied, smiling a little bit.

"It's a bit tacky, actually." Lauren said while skimming through stands of underwear "And really embarrassing when you get a person you don't particularly want to link arms with." She smiled and blushed slightly.

"Am I in that category?" Gambit asked smoothly.

"No! I mean, yes! I mean, no! I mean, like, whatever!" The young shop assistant said, her voice coming out very awkwardly and her pale cheeks turning tomato red.

"You're sending me mixed signals." Gambit said, teasing her slightly. "I know a girl a bit like you, actually."

"Oh, really?" Lauren raised one eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me about her?"

Gambit paused. "Do you want to know?" The girl nodded in response. "Well, she's this girl and I like her, and she knows it, but she never seems to like me or hate me, she just refuses to decide!"

"I know a boy like that." Lauren replied.

"Really? Tell me."

"His name's Pietro, and he's a bit of a player, you see, he acts like he like, _likes _me, right? Then, the next day I see him surrounded by five other girls!" Lauren sighed.

"Do you care?" Gambit asked, suggestively moving a tiny bit closer to Lauren.

"I don't really know! I mean, if he can get the girls, he should have the girls, right?" Lauren sighed.

"So, do you have anyone else special right now?" Gambit asked, moving a little bit closer once more.

"No, actually, I don't." Lauren sighed, seeming to be caught up in a daydream.

"Does that bother you? Do you want someone special?" Gambit moved a centimetre closer once more.

"Yeah, I guess, but it doesn't really bother me." Lauren placed a strand of hair behind her ear, before looking up and walking towards some more shelves. "Anyway, let's get you some underwear before you have to get going."

/

"I would rather get these myself." Colossus said shyly. "I do not mean to be rude or anything, but I am a bit uncomfortable."

"Oh, nonsense!" The shop assistant called Tara said, smiling slightly. "You should see half the weirdos who we have to help!" She shuddered slightly.

Sabretooth had learned to shut up when in this girl's presence, after he tried attacking her and failed. He had never heard a young woman talk so much.

"Not like you two gentlemen! You're so kind and nice and polite, and so adorable!" The Tara girl said, her last two words coming out as squeals.

Sabretooth didn't know how Colossus felt, but Sabretooth had a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that made him want to whimper and run away. Colossus felt like he had been transported to the Sahara desert, his face blushing boiling crimson.

"White, grey, white, grey, grey, white, white, glow-in-the-dark green, white, white, grey..." Tara sang the colours of the underwear she was tossing into Sabretooth's and Colossus's arms.

"Do you think she's enjoying this?" Sabretooth whispered to Colossus.

"It is her job, I suppose." Colossus replied "But she does seem to be... oddly committed and very passionate about it."

"White, white, grey, grey, grey, white, bright purple, white, white, grey, white..." The girl continued, the heap in the Acolyte's arms getting bigger and bigger.

"I think this is enough." Colossus said politely to the young girl. Her eyes lit up.

"Oh, I agree! But your friends aren't ready to go yet!" Tara said, frowning and biting her lip. "But that's okay! We can talk and become the bestest of friends!" Her arms linked around Colossus's and Sabretooth's arms as she trotted off towards the other groups.

/

"He likes purple, huh?" The brunette shop assistant said, smiling like there was no tomorrow. "Isn't that funny? I like purple too! We have sooooo much in common!"

"Uh, indeed." Magneto said through clenched teeth, telling himself over and over that lashing out at her and slitting her throat would draw unwanted attention. "I think we're ready to leave now, though. We really did appreciate your help."

"Oh no, Maggie! We can't just leave now!" Pyro exclaimed.

"Now." Magneto snarled quietly to Pyro.

"Oh, there you go again! Always bossing me around!"

"That would be why they call me your Boss."

"But I have rights, mate! Under the laws of America!"

"Along with the laws that you seem to keep on breaking!"

"Oh yeah, because you're one –"

"I found them!" The shop assistant sang happily, breaking up the boy's whispering fight.

The seemed like the whole world had turned silent, like the Earth had stopped spinning and the mall had been muted. Magneto's mind had been shaken for the first time in years, his brain aching from trying to return back to his normal state. His thought's speed had dwindled from Quicksilver to a slug. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gambit walk towards him, flirting with a young blonde. From the opposite side of the store, the big hair Sabretooth and the big, metallic Colossus were walking towards him. _'NO! NOT NOW! ANYTIME BUT NOW!' _Magneto felt like he was going to melt away into the ground, and he would have liked that compared to what was coming. Naturally, Gambit was the first to notice, his mind seeing clearly what was being displayed. As his finger pointed to the thing in the shop assistant's hand, his laughter echoing into Sabretooth's and Colossus's ears. Sabretooth started howling like a mad wolf, and Colossus tried to hide a giggle. He didn't want to look behind him. Magneto already knew that Pyro would be on the floor, laughing his head off and rolling around.

"Here you go!" Magneto's shop assistant said, casually throwing the pair of furry leopard-print bright purple underwear into Magneto's hands.

"We're leaving." Magneto growled, flinging a couple hundred-dollar notes at the shop assistants.

"Oh, no, please don't Maggie! I just made a new friend! She might add me on Facebook or be my Pen Pal!"

"Now, Pyro!"

"Goodbye, boys!" They waved back, smiling in freaky unison.

/

Pyro screamed with laughter when he saw the picture of Magneto on Gambit's iPhone.

"Look at his face!" Pyro giggled madly.

"Look at your phone." Sabretooth grunted, noticing the metal on the side curling, before ripping away completely, destroying the iPhone. Magneto smiled evilly when he saw the startled expression on Gambit's face.

"It was just a pair of underpants, boys." Magneto snapped, his hands twisting and turning, making the iPhone dysfunction to the point of it causing a small explosion in Gambits hand.

"And that was only a photograph!" Gambit snapped right back, sitting down on a chair inside a cute cafe, Pyro, Colossus, Magneto and Sabretooth also taking a seat.

"I really need a coffee." Magneto sighed, rubbing his temples when two perky waitresses came up to him.

"Hi, I'm Hannah!" One said.

"And I'm Lara!" The other said.

"And we're your waitresses!" They smiled together.

Magneto started slamming his head against Gambit's shoulder. "Why must it always be me? Why, why, why?"

/

"Look at me, I'm Remy LeBeau, let me charm you with my Cajun charm" Pietro Maximoff said in an accent that sounded alarmingly similar to Gambit's, wiggling his eyebrows, making the pair of Gambit's underwear he was wearing on his head roll down to cover his eyebrows.

"And I'm Piotr What-cha-ma-call-it!" Lance said, doing the robot around the room, his arms laced in undies.

"Is this a loincloth, yo?" Toad said, examining a large piece of cloth that looked like it had come from a large cat.

"Is it a bird, is it a plane?" Boom-Boom shouted, jumping out from behind a corner wearing red leggings, a red tank-top, a purple tablecloth tied around her neck, completing the image with a pair of vibrant purple knickers on top of her leggings. "No, it's Metal Man!" She said, flexing her biceps.

"Boy, watching you guys pretend to be the Acolytes can really make a guy hungry." Freddy said, lounging back onto the couch, a pair of Pyro's underwear stuck half way up his calf.  
The Brotherhood laughed.

*** * ***

There you guys go! This took like, AGES to write, so reviews would be nice : ) You know how it is, constructive criticism but no flamers! 


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